Wednesday, 7 October 2009

English Culinary Haiku

Just to ensure my fair readers don't tire of nonstop narrative, I've decided to branch out with a few little creative works I can use during the performance art segment of my first Weight Watcher's meeting on Thursday. (Don't they have a performance art segment?  I can see the downsides: most artists in this school would pick baking as their chosen medium.) I digress.

Diet shot to hell
Granary bread is toasting
Toffee's just like crack


Custard on the hob
Feeling like a giant blob
Gym clothes way too tight

That's it.  I'm afraid the gravy train of good living has crashed, and I've got to climb back on the first wagon I find, to mix transportation metaphors.  I've been to a weight loss group (I called it "Fat Club") back in the States, so I'm interested to see how the vibe is different.  My last experience was high in entertainment value: stories of slip-ups on sliders at Burger King, confessions of emotional baking, and laments about how lardy one felt after consuming an entire pound of grapes.  (OK, that last one was me, and grapes were on the program.) 

I'll keep you posted.  Until then, I'm looking for a word that rhymes with "shortcrust pastry."

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